Self-Care When You Are Sad and Grief-stricken

How do we take care of ourselves? Our children? Our communities and our world?
There was/is a storm of feeling stirred up by this awful act and by the devastation that no one can really comprehend.
It seems to be human nature to look for a place to vent our anger, seize control, have an impact or somehow be effective. Do something about the pain and awfulness. Now.
We don’t want these things to happen. We don’t want these things to already have happened. We want to make it better. We want to have some control. We want to protect those we love and care about.
We hurt. We’re scared. We care. We care very deeply.
Brené Brown, a vulnerability expert, researcher, author and someone I greatly admire, posted this on Facebook that morning while I was still sitting stunned, searching for words:
“Feeling total heartbreak for the people in Connecticut. Trading television for deep prayer. Lord help us send love and light to those in pain. Let us stay calm and openhearted while we manage our own fear and anger. And help us remember that news coverage is traumatizing for us and especially for our children.”
“Let us stay calm and openhearted while we manage our own fear and anger.”
The difference between reacting and acting with purpose can be huge and the consequences major. As soon as I heard what was unfolding last week, I felt an immediate urge to react. To take a stand, to cry, to yell, to DO something. Post something, write something, be angry at someone.
Instead, I sat. I breathed. I watched the storm inside me that was about a million feelings at once. I prayed. I kept breathing. I sat some more and wondered about what to do. And then Brené posted and put words to my own experience and to what I know is critical in situations like this.
Call it self-care. Read more...

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