Interaction with people is an inevitable part of life. It's the natural as we are social animals. Interaction becomes a complex interplay of emotions and ego, establishing heirarchal patterns that social structure mandates.
Unpleasant interactions result from the view that "the perceived identity that we have about others does not connect with the perceived identity the others have of us." Interaction is of perceptions, arguments, misunderstandings, and humiliation that are unavoidable outcomes of this.
Our identity / ego is entirely perceptive and imaginary. The very fact that these could be slighted or elated implies that ego is a variable, modifiable and mutable construct; it is not fixed. The identity / ego is speculative and dynamic. Invariably, we generate a daily report of self-esteem much like a weather update. A variable parameter can't be absolute. While we are quick to conclude that the other person cannot understand us, do we really understand ourselves?
The self that we commonly assume ourselves to be is a database of memories with conviction of a unique, discrete identity -- a composite of the impression we have of ourselves and the impression we feel others have about us. The former is a complex of id and ego while the latter represents the super ego. Interaction with others nurtures the super ego, and lends meaning to the script of life. It simultaneously generates a hierarchal co-efficient, but is starved for recognition and desires to dominate. Its assertiveness becomes exacting and demanding in an attempt to establish its position in social hierarchy. It looks for meaning in one’s own existence in relation to others. Read more...